Papa's Letter

6 year old Sven made a "sculpture" of his Papa.

This is Cheree and Lorraine (Cherraine).  We are at Nanna and Papa's house right now.  They asked that we post an update about Craig.  He recently wrote a letter to help us understand his desires for treatment and care.  We'd like to share that letter with you. We've posted it below the next photo.
Thank you so much for your love and prayers.  We feel them.  We are overwhelmed by the compassion you have shown.  As Papa said today, in light of this very difficult circumstance, "This is a real bummer."  Even with the pain being a "9" at times, he still has his sense of humor.  Oh how we love Papa!

Papa with nine of his seventeen grandchildren on 6/26/15.

Dear Family and Friends,

I feel I should reduce my feelings to writing the best I can. First of all, I believe I am at a very sacred junction— a time when Heaven has been preparing me for my eventual passage from this earthly life. Naturally, we all want to cling onto every available hour we can. I’m no different in that respect. Every instinct I possess drives me to stay with you as long as I possibly can.

Way down deep though, I feel I am being beckoned from the other side. The only question is how urgently do they want me? I have a feeling that question may be answered soon because my capacity to eat and drink is rapidly diminishing. I have now lost over 50 pounds and it’s very difficult to think that in my declining, emaciated condition, chemotherapy would help. One doctor recently intimated as much, saying that those on chemo who don’t keep up their weight do not do well.

Much has been said about my will to live or whether I am just “giving up” without a fight. That is not at all what this is about. Those who know me best know I do not give up when things are difficult—that’s never been my nature. On the other hand, when I feel a spiritual prompting that I should go a certain direction, I have tried to pay heed. Sometimes I am a little bull-headed and reluctant to do what I’ve been asked, but the last few years I believe Heavenly Father has trusted me more to act on spiritual promptings because he has given more of them to me.

It is out of my tender feelings for the desires of my loved ones that I agreed to try chemo in the first place. I have no regrets about that at all. It only confirmed my spiritual conviction that I should instead let nature take its course. I hope, at this point, my loved ones can trust me and know that I would never fail them just to avoid more suffering and pain. This is a spiritual matter and sacred matter, a holy matter.  My final thought is that I should do nothing to either forestall or to facilitate my passing. Heaven will simply draw me from mortality when it’s time and not before.

Oh, to be sure, I hope the medical people can make me comfortable in the process, but I would not want a feeding tube or other extraordinary life support means.  Just let nature take her course.

All my love always,

Craig-Dad-Papa

Cherraine again-- Craig started hospice yesterday, June 25th.  The plan is to help manage his pain, but not to help with food or fluids.  He is to eat and drink as much as he can.  This is tough to do, but he is trying.  We saw him eat part of an apple, a Popsicle, and the head of a gingerbread man today.  That's a good day.